What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.