What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.