What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!