What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
"Love the wine you're with."
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”