Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Sip happens."
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!