What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
You’re wine in a million.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
"You're the wine that I want."
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
I think therefore I yam.