The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.