The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
"No wine left behind."
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”