Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
One should always practice what they peach.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
"Read between the wines."
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
"Sip happens."
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.