I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
"On cloud wine."
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.