Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?
A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl).
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"