What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.