I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
---
What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
"No wine left behind."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!