The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
"Say you'll be wine."
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.