Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
"Great minds drink alike."
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg? Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”