What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
I yam what I yam.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.