How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.