When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.