Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."