How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.