Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”