Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.