What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.