What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.