Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!