What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'