What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
You’re wine in a million.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
We’re a perfect mash.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
"Love the wine you're with."
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
You and I make a deluxe combo.