You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.