Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
"I make pour decisions."
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
"You had me at merlot."