What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.