If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.