When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.