What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub