What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
"Say you'll be wine."
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.