It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
This foundation is rock salad.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.