Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
One should always practice what they peach.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.