What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.