What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
You've really struck a gourd with me...
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!