Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.