There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
"Be kind, re-wine."
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? Because his friend said dinner is on me.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!