Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Join us for a slice of fun.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.