What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
"Back that glass up."
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.