What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
I like you a latke!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..