What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
"Here for the right riesling."
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.