What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Time to celery-brate.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.