Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
"Partners in wine."
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I love you a tot!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.