What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
"You had me at merlot."
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.