What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"