I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
One should always practice what they peach.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
"Read between the wines."
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.