The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
"Read between the wines."
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.