What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?