In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.