Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.