Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm