.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"Rosé all day."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"Read between the wines."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Love the wine you're with."
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Back that glass up."
"Be kind, re-wine."
"I make pour decisions."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"On cloud wine."
"Adulting makes me wine."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
You’re wine in a million.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"I mead more wine."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"No wine left behind."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
