Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Time to wine down."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"On cloud wine."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"Be kind, re-wine."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"No wine left behind."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Adulting makes me wine."
"I need to re-wine my life."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Sip, sip hooray."
"You had me at merlot."
"Sip happens."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"I mead more wine."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"I make pour decisions."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Love the wine you're with."
"Great minds drink alike."