Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"You had me at merlot."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Great minds drink alike."
"Here for the right riesling."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Sip, sip hooray."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Adulting makes me wine."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Say you'll be wine."